Sacred Voltage. Part 5: The Mid-Chrysalis Pain
aka What the Hell Am I Becoming and Why Can’t I Do Anything Right Now
Let’s begin with a public service announcement:
If you currently feel foggy, disoriented, slightly allergic to your old life, and mildly useless to capitalism
Congratulations. You’re transforming.
This is the phase I call Mid-Chrysalis.
Not caterpillar. Not butterfly.
Just goo.
Biologically speaking, when a caterpillar enters its cocoon, it doesn’t grow wings on top of a worm body.
It dissolves into a liquid soup of possibility, a primordial, identity-free puddle.
Science literally calls it “imaginal cells.” (I know. Magic.)
And yet, in the human version, we resist it like hell.
Because no one told us:
"There’s a sacred phase where everything stops making sense because your nervous system is rearranging the scaffolding of who you are."
You’re not depressed.
You’re not lazy.
You’re unstructured light mid-download.
Symptoms of Mid-Chrysalis Syndrome:
Constant sensation of “I should be doing something” while wanting to nap on the floor
Crying at fruit, animals, or music that sounds like a memory
Rewriting your website bio every full moon
Ambivalent about everything except snacks and sunlight
Deep peace and sudden panic shaking hands hourly
Why It Hurts (in a holy way)
Your old operating system (people-pleasing, tension-managing, overachieving) is melting.
But your new system (coherence, pleasure, clarity, nervous system-led living)?
Is still buffering.
You are:
No longer reacting, but not yet fully responding
No longer collapsing, but not yet effortlessly expanding
No longer lost, but not yet directioned
It’s awkward. It’s tender. It’s deeply potent.
And you can’t rush it.
You can only stay in it.
Things to Do in the Goo:
Whisper “I am not behind” every time your calendar gives you guilt
Lay in sun patches like a cat and call it somatic therapy
Feel things without interpreting them (radical, I know)
Wear soft clothes, eat warm food, cry at leaves
Let people witness you even if you have no words, no brand strategy, no offering
Sigh a lot. Sighing is the exhale of becoming.
Stretch.
Mid-chrysalis isn’t a productivity phase.
It’s a neuro-sensory temple construction period.
You’re not resting.
You’re being re-coded.
So What’s the Point of All This Weirdness?
To become the kind of human who can hold high-frequency states without flinching.
To unlearn reactivity so your body can receive clarity without panic.
To stretch into stillness without needing to fill it with noise.
This phase is when your field changes, not just your thoughts.
It’s where future-you starts whispering through your cells:
“I’m coming. Make space.”
And If You’re Thinking “But I Don’t Know What I’m Becoming…”
Perfect.
Because nothing coherent is born in clarity.
It’s born in staying with the unknown long enough for your nervous system to catch up to your soul.
That’s the work.
That’s the art.
That’s Sacred Voltage.
In the next post?
We’ll get a little ritualistic and share some of the Sacred Rewiring Ceremonies that help build the actual infrastructure to hold pleasure, power, and presence without collapse.
Until then?
Don’t try to define yourself.
You’re still soup.
And soup is sacred.