Losing Control

In a Very Controlled Way😜

There’s a popular fantasy about control.

That the strong ones never lose it.

That composure is proof of mastery.

That attraction, curiosity, electricity should be kept on a short leash.

Cute.

What I’m actually experiencing lately is a more advanced version of control… the kind that relaxes when it feels safe. Who knew?

The kind that doesn’t clamp down when energy rises.

Doesn’t dramatize intensity.

Doesn’t confuse sensation with danger.

Just… stays present.

I trust my nervous system more than my defenses.

I trust my intuition more than caution tape.

I trust that when I show up as myself playful, precise, embodied it’s because I feel where I am.

Not everyone gets the same version of me. Surprise! 😉

Not everyone earns the same depth, humor, slowness, or spark.

Discernment doesn’t look like distance it looks like attunement.

And yes, sometimes energy moves fast.

Sometimes curiosity leans in.

Sometimes the body reacts before the mind finishes its sentence.

That’s not recklessness.

That’s literacy.

There’s a difference between losing control and choosing not to grip it so tightly.

I don’t confuse intensity with danger.

I don’t confuse attraction with loss of self.

I don’t confuse depth with falling.

I know where I am.

And if something stirs goosebumps, laughter, heat, stillness I let it pass through without making it mean more than it does.

That, too, is control.

Very scientific.

Very sensual.

Highly regulated.

Dancing helps.

Creating helps.

So does a little curiosity applied with a steady hand.

Control isn’t about holding everything in. It’s about knowing when you don’t need to.

And enjoying that moment… without flinching. 😉✨